Smile
by shadesofmidnightsun
Summary: Some things are impossible. Some things just seem so. Hyuuga and his icy superior getting closer than they have ever thought they could be but as close as that they maybe always wanted to be - what kind of thing is that?
1. Chapter 1

**Hm, what do I need to say...? I don't own 07 ghost (though I would love to own Aya-tan and Hyuuga XD). Oh, and please forgive me the grammar mistakes.**

* * *

He should have listened. He should have done what he was suggested to. But he would never do so. Nor would he ever admit that. He just wouldn't. He was way too proud for such a thing.

* * *

Hyuuga had to fight hard to hide a smile which wanted to form on his lips so badly. He watched Ayanami struggle through another wild bout of coughing and smirked slightly, considering whether he would endanger his life too much if he said "I told you so". Special powers or no, even Ayanami wasn't immune to cold. But as stubborn as he was he just didn't want to listen and now the consequences of staying outside in a snowstorm on their last mission without wearing proper clothes finally showed themselves.

Hyuuga just opened his mouth, deciding his chances for survival were high enough, when Ayanami glared at him. His superior looked somewhat tired, definitely a rare sight. Even his glare didn't seem that deadly anymore. So instead of a taunt, words of worry came out of Lieutenant Commander's mouth.

"You okay, Aya-tan?"

Not that he expected a proper answer. Chief of staff's growl "Get back to work!" was the only response he received.

"Actually I really have to find Konatsu," he came up with a swift excuse, a big fat lie of course, but the mere thought of boring paper-work made him feel sick. He strode to the door and threw one last glance towards his silver-haired superior, who seemed to be totally absorbed in his work despite his killing cold. To someone else he might would have seemed to be just fine but Hyuuga noticed his shoulders were sagged slightly more than usual, his amethyst eyes weren't moving down the papers in their usual watchful, penetrating manner and his cheeks were for a tint or two paler.

Hyuuga shook his head slightly.

"You should get some rest, Aya-tan," he suggested with a mostly hidden hint of concern in his voice and pulled a lollipop out of nowhere. "If you keep overworking yourself, it'll kill you someday." With that he left, nonchalantly slamming the door behind him.

Ayanami let an annoyed sigh escape his lips. Like he would just leave his work because of a stupid cold, it would take way more than that. Besides he seriously needed to finish for this papers had to be done till the next day. Stupid mission... He really didn't need a cold right now. All this coughing, sneezing and sniffling was an irritating distraction, even more irritating than Hyuuga used to be and _he_ surely knew how to be annoying, not to talk about distraction.

After some more intense coughing Ayanami rubbed his eyes and tried to concentrate. But as the time passed by his thrash can became fuller and fuller of snotty tissues and his headache grew stronger until it felt like somebody was stabbing him in the back of his head and the slightest movement felt like the hardest fighting move. He rubbed his stinging eyes once again, trying to chase the exhaustion away but it had little effect on this tiredness, which seemed to be whirling around him like a thick mist.

Maybe Hyuuga was right. Maybe he should rest. Just a little bit, just a short nap, a few minutes since his eyelids were so heavy, and then go back to work. He could do that. But why was it so cold in here? Shouldn't the room be warm? Maybe he should go and rest in his own room. If only it wasn't so hard to stand up... Why was his view so blurred? Why was everything... Why...

* * *

"The paper-word is all done, Lieutenant Commander," stated Konatsu.

"You were working till now?" Hyuuga raised his gaze from his doodling and looked at his begleiter.

"You told me to do it," shrugged the latter. "Shall I bring them," he wagged towards the papers, "to Ayanami-sama?"

"Naaaah," Hyuuga yawned, "just go to sleep, it's already past midnight, I'll go bring them to Aya-tan."

"_Hai_!" came the reply but only half as cheery and enthusiastic as Konastu wanted it to be – he was clearly sleepy. After an unnecessary salute he rushed away, probably already feeling the warmth of his bed calling him.

Hyuuga yawned once again and stretched himself in a cat-like manner. He grabbed the papers Konatsu had brought him and made his way towards Ayanami's office. Everything was quiet, not a sound could be heard in the corridors, except the tapping of Hyuuga's military boots.

As usually he didn't bother to knock before entering his boss's office, he just yawned once more and pushed the door away.

"Oy, Aaaya-tan~" he started in a sing-song voice but fell silent abruptly. At first he didn't realise what was wrong, but something definitely wasn't right, he could feel it. His eyes stopped on the papers scattered on the floor, followed upwards the trail of dripping ink and returned to the floor once more, this time focused on the black cap lying there and gloved fingers touching it.

"Aya-tan!" he snapped and rushed forward only to stop like frozen. The said man was lying on the floor, face to the ground, his arms bent in front of him and some of his sliver locks stained with something dark crimson.

"_Kuso_!"

Hyuuga moved again, he squat down at his superior's side with the speed of light. The papers, which Konatsu had worked on so hard, were long forgotten, scattered somewhere on the floor.

"Aya-tan!" Hyuuga grabbed the latter's shoulders and turned him around without hesitation. "Aya-tan, wake up!"

The words had little effect. Chief of staff was still lying motionlessly, his eyes still closed, his chest rising and falling in shallow jerks. Coagulated blood was covering his right temple. Hyuuga stared at his pale face for a moment, those slightly opened lips with no colour, that smooth flawless skin, those trembling eyelids hiding the most icy, piercing eyes he had ever seen. Then he gently ran his fingers over Ayanami's cheek and twitched barely noticeably. The skin under his touch was so hot he could feel the heat through his gloves. Even more worried than before he placed his palm on the other's forehead and sighed. The man was burning with fever.

"Come now, Aya-tan, snap out of it," the Major tried to wake his superior, shaking his shoulders again. And again there was no respond. Without being aware of it his brows knitted. He really hoped the Chief of Staff was just sleeping and not unconscious. Even a sleeping Ayanami was kinda odd. Seeing him so weak really caught Hyuuga off guard, but he quickly gathered himself together. He couldn't leave Ayanami like this, no way would he do that, because clearly he got the worst of it. Therefore Hyuuga bent down even more and lifted Ayanami with such ease as if he were a small child. A dark stain on the edge of the desk caught his attention for a second but was left behind just as everything else in the room as he walked out and down the corridor, feeling the heat of Ayanami's body against his chest. He made his way to his rooms with long steps, without averting his gaze from Ayanami's face even for a second. When he finally had to look up it was just to enter his condo. He kicked the doors closed behind him, headed into the bedroom and gently placed his superior on the large bed. He then sat down beside him and ran his fingers through his silver locks with a sigh.

* * *

Darkness was all around. Too thick too see anything, too pitch black. Even his hands raised towards his face were just blurred outlines, barely distinguishable from the dark background of the blackness surrounding him.

Where was he? Was this a dream?

He turned around, half hoping to see something, anything, maybe a thin ray of light or just a shadow different from the rest, but knowing there will be nothing but darkness. Still his heart sank slightly. Disappointed. Why? Was he really foolish enough to hope? And if – hope for what? And why even hope?

Darkness greeted his unspoken questions with solitary silence. Nothing was there. Nothing will be. No one will come.

Suddenly a faint, cheerful, but mock laughter rang through this nothingness. He jerked violently, shooting around with wide-opened eyes, desperately trying to find the source of this defying voice.

Laughter chimed through the darkness once again, making him feel like it was all around him. This time it was clearly taunting. And then he heard her speak.

"What's wrong...? Did you forget to make those flowers of yours blossom for yourself and got lost in your own darkness? Really..."

"Eve..." he exhaled. His lips barely moved and the word was almost inaudible.

"Come now, don't say my name in such a manner. You know, I didn't feel sorry for your flowers at all. Father told me when they died everything else blossomed. The paradise was rejoicing."

Finally her frame outlined somewhere in the dark, moving like a gentle breeze was carrying her, something resembling a cordial smile dancing upon her ruby-red lips. He just stared in disbelief, unable to grasp what was happening, not even to comprehend his own reactions. He felt something, something somewhat alien, something he couldn't define even if he tried.

"Staring is impolite," she smiled even wider and lightly cupped his cheek. There was nothing neither nice nor sweet in her smile, not even a slightest trace of sympathy or at least pity, just contempt and scoffing. She leaned closer, her lips almost touching his earlobe and warm breath made him shudder as she spoke:

"Therefore I'll leave you here... I'll let you rot in your own darkness... Until it's too thick to ever get pierced by a ray of light again."

With that she straightened in a playful manner, nearly floating, reminding him on a beautiful butterfly, a butterfly he could never catch. Nevertheless he tried, he reached out for her, managed to close his fingers around her delicate wrist.

"Stay," he breathed. "Please, stay..."

But as suddenly as she appeared her image started to fade until he could barely distinguish her outlines and then there was nothing but endless blackness again. And again he felt _something_, his heart sank just a bit, too little for him to really notice but enough for a shadow of an emotion to appear on his face – the amethyst ice in his eyes started to melt.

It took him a moment. Then, with a violent shake of his head, he tried to dispel those images, those illusions, those memories which weren't even his for real, but even behind his closed eye-lids the smile dancing upon her ruby lips remained and her laughter was still echoing in his ears. A voice so sweet he could listen to it his whole life but a voice so cruel it felt worse like a sword being shoved through his heart.

Time had no meaning here. There was nothing to measure it, nothing it could affect. There was no time. Or space. Or anything. Just him. Alone. Caught in the web of ancient recollections, lost in this all-embracing sound with no source. He couldn't tell when it changed. There was no clear boundary between the dying laughter and two angry voices, shouting at each other, arguing zealously. He couldn't tell when this thick blanket of darkness was replaced by a long dark corridor where the only light was coming from the gap between slightly opened doors. It was exactly where he was standing, next to that door, peeking through this gap. He was just a child again, his eyes wide opened, his small hand gripping the doorframe so strong his knuckles turned white. He watched the two larger figures in the room, he watched them argue, he listened to their screams but couldn't make out a single word they were saying. Suddenly a word snapped through the dusk, making him twitch violently.

"Ayanami!"

It was his father's voice, cold and imperious.

"What are you doing here? I told you to study!"

"_Demo_, _otou-san_..."

"No buts! Get back to your work! I'll deal with you later!"

He wanted to shout back, to say it wasn't his fault his family got exiled, to say he was an adult now, that his father no longer had any power over him, but he couldn't. He was a child again, and as such he froze for a second and then ran down the long, never-ending corridor, which end was wrapped in darkness. He ran to escape those angry shouts only to hear other voices, voices whispering behind his back, he felt burning gazes on his back and fingers pointing at him, he heard evil laughter and mocking. He stopped in the middle of motion and turned around with unnatural speed but no one was there. He turned again, wildly looking around, his eyes penetratingly shooting through the darkness, desperately trying to find something. Everywhere he looked there was nothing but blackness, which seemed to be closing around him little by little.

And then he noticed a motion. He felt it sooner than he saw it. Outlines of a person appeared on the horizon and things happened in slow motion as he froze where he was. Somehow he could see blood gush around. He watched the man fall down motionlessly and yet another familiar voice rang in his head.

"You don't care... See, you're just standing there. You're not helping me. I'm dying and you aren't even trying. Shame on you... You don't care at all..."

"Yukikaze..." His lips moved but there was no sound. His begleiter fell, he was lying there, dying, catching his finally breaths, and he – he was just watching. Why didn't he move? Why _couldn't_ he move?

"Aya-tan..."

He jerked. That voice...

It was like something changed, he was able to move again, and he rushed forward like wind, falling to his knees beside the death man's body, turning him with one hasty motion. This time even he was aware something happened inside of him, something broke, fell to pieces like a broken mirror. A fist smashed through the darkness and he looked away. He couldn't watch that face covered in blood, those once-sparkling empty eyes...

A scream tore free from his lips.

* * *

**Just in case, for those, who don't know - "kuso" means "shit" in Japanese and "demo" means "but".**

**Sooo, I personaly wanted to write a long story about Ayanami 'cause there's a lack of them but knowing myself I just wouldn't end it and so I decided to write this. It was supposed to be a oneshot but it came out a little longer. Anyaway, Aya-tan may be somewhat OOC (especially later) but then again we don't really know since it is only shown how he acts in public. There are also no details given about his childhood so I just improvised.**

**Reviews are appreciated but please no flames XD**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yeah, yeah, I don't own 07 ghost :( (I wish though)**

Hyuuga was jumping around in his kitchen, impatiently waiting for the minutes to pass so he could finally finish this stupid tea. It took another minute or two before he could pour the hot beverage in a cup. Satisfied with his work he placed it on a small plate. When he turned to leave the kitchen a shaken shriek cut the silence and Hyuuga almost dropped the tea. He had never ever heard Ayanami scream like that. Something must have been really, really wrong. He strode towards the bedroom as fast as he could without spilling the tea and froze between the doors. Ayanami was lying on his side, tangled in sheets, his face buried in a pillow, pressing the blanket, Hyuuga had used to cover him, to his chest.

"Aya-tan?"

The latter actually twitched at the sound of his voice and slowly looked up.

This time Hyuuga dropped the cup for real. Not that he noticed. His jaw fell to the floor as well and his eyes jerked wide open. There, on his superior's pale cheek, was a single tear.

Hyuuga stood still, not sure what he should do. That wasn't the Ayanami he knew, that stoic, impassive man, always self-composed, always wearing an unemotional mask. The man lying in his bed was just... vulnerable. That was the only way Hyuuga could describe him. He still didn't move when Ayanami slowly shook his head and buried his face back into the pillow. The Lieutenant Commander had seen many things, he had _done_ many things, faced many situations, but nothing he had ever gone through had prepared him for this.

Slowly and unsure of what to do he approached his superior and hesitantly sat down on the bed's edge.

"Aya-tan?" he carefully asked again. "What's wrong?"

He didn't get an answer, not a word, not a movement, not anything. A sigh escaped his lips. What was he expecting, him to speak out? This was still Ayanami, after all. But a sick Ayanami and even if he wouldn't want, it was his duty to help him. Actually Hyuuga didn't mind. It was a handy excuse to stay so close to him, something he had always wanted. And before he could stop himself he ran his fingers through the sliver locks of his superior. Only in the middle of motion did he remember what he was doing, but when he tried to withdraw his hand, a feeble grip on his sleeve stopped him.

Ayanami slightly shifted himself and murmured with a weak voice:

"You really _are_ here."

"Of course I'm here," the confused major tried to smile. "I said I'll protect you, didn't I? I will always be here."

"Promised?"

"Promised." Hyuuga had no idea what came over his superior but he had to admit he really liked him this way. Maybe Ayanami being ill was a good thing after all. But still...

"Now, Aya-tan, I told you not to overwork yourself, look what happened. And how is your fever supposed to fall if you throw the cloth away?" He picked the wet cloth he had placed on Ayanami's forehead and shook his head in a parent-like manner. "I'll go get a new cup of tea since I dropped the last one, ok?"

He tried to stand up but a hand pulling his sleeve stopped him.

"Stay here."

Hyuuga blinked. Did his ears betray him and now he was having auditory hallucinations? It sounded like Ayanami but it wasn't even an order, more like a quiet murmur. And the Chief of Staff Hyuuga knew would never say such a thing.

"Don't leave. Not you too. Please."

What? Ok, it was time to wake from this dream. Hyuuga raised his hand to pinch himself, completely sure that he will find himself waking up in his office after he had been sleeping while he should be doing paper work. Aya-tan would yell at him and cause another bruise to appear somewhere on his face and Konatsu would try to hide his smirk. But as he opened his eyes again he was still in the bedroom. Nothing changed. He was still standing beside the bed and Ayanami was still holding his sleeve. This was reality. Realising that he sat back down, trying to push his astonishment aside and enjoy the heating presence of the other man, who was holding onto his hand like his life would depend on it.

"It's ok," Hyuuga tried to comfort him. "I'm here. I always will be. You're not alone."

For a second their gazes met – Hyuuga's caring deep blue eyes, half hidden behind his sunglasses, and Ayanami's feverish, barely opened, amethyst ones, resembling melted purple ice. The latter raised his slightly shaking hand with difficulty, reaching for Hyuuga's glasses, and slowly pulled them away, letting them drop on the bed. Major's eyes widened slightly for he wasn't absolutely positive what Ayanami wanted, but he smiled anyway.

"Don't push yourself," he said softly. Despite his words Ayanami didn't drop the hand, quite the opposite, his slender fingers gently brushed against Hyuuga's lips, meeting them in a tender touch. The brown-haired man slightly twitched in surprise and caught his wrist, again aghast how hot it was.

"You're burning, Aya-tan," he shook his head. "I have to get you a cold compress to fight this fever of yours."

"You promised you'll stay."

Ayanami's voice wasn't even a murmur anymore, it was only a broken whisper coming from between his pale lips, now as white as snow.

"Yes, but if I don't get you a..."

The look on Ayanami's face made him fall silent. He couldn't quite tell what was written in these beautiful features of his, but just the fact emotions could be seen there clearly told Hyuuga something must be very, very wrong. He wondered what the hell had happened to make his boss act this way although he knew he wouldn't get an answer even if he asked. Instead he smiled one of his never-fading smiles again.

"Alright, I'll stay here. Anything to make Aya-tan happy 3"

"Anything?"

The word was barely audible. And there was a hint of something Hyuuga couldn't define. Though it was just a whisper, he could swear the tone Ayanami used was one Hyuuga had never heard him use before.

"Anything," he confirmed. If he thought nothing could surprise him anymore after what had already happened, he was wrong. Seeing something that might be a faint shadow of a small smile form on Ayanami's lips, even if only for a second, still shocked him. For a moment, for a blink of an eye. His heart skipped a beat and then his own smile grew wider as he felt something warm within his chest. If only Ayanami would smile once more...

"Nah, Aya-tan, you should sleep now. It's the middle of the night, you know?"

Only silence answered him. Ayanami's tired eyes finally closed, his heavy eyelids slid together, his locks scattered around as he sank deeper in the pillow and a long breath escaped his lips. After that he remained still just like Hyuuga did, the latter sitting there attentively, silently watching over him like a guardian angel.

It was quite a while later when he finally moved. Only then, after a long breath escaped his lips, he realised he'd been holding it, and his body fully relaxed at last. Without averting his caring gaze from Ayanami's pale face, he places his own glasses on the night-table. How could he even look away? Not now, especially not now, when the silver-haired man's face was so peaceful, his every muscle relaxed despite the seriously high fever. His complexion seemed like the finest porcelain and Hyuuga compressed a dreamy sigh as his gaze trailed over his face again and again.

Oh, how he wanted to kiss these lips, to see whether they were really as soft as they seemed, to touch this face just to make sure again and again his skin really was that smooth, to run his fingers, gloved or not, through these soft silver locks, beautifully glistering in the soft shine of the nightlight, amazingly resembling liquid silver. But he couldn't. He could never. Or could he?

Hyuuga sharply gasped for air and his heartbeat uncontrollably fastened. A thought crossed his agitated mind, a very daring, very dangerous, very tempting thought. The more he tossed it around in his head, the weaker his inner resistance became. He was longing, yearning for Ayanami long enough, wanting his touch so strong it made his skin crawl, and his love so bad it made everything in his cheats ache when he reminded himself once again his desires were absolutely out of reach. Ayanami would never let him do what he wanted. But Ayanami was asleep. He would never know, it would stay a secret forever, a memory carefully kept in the depths of Hyuuga's heart, hidden from the world.

Without another thought the Lieutenant Commander bent down, slowly, carefully, but more and more until he could feel Ayanami's hot breath brush over his skin, and even further. Then, finally, his lips touched Ayanami's hot, slightly parted ones, brushing against them softly like a gentle breeze, meeting them in a feather-light kiss for a moment. Something flared up in Hyuuga's chest, something desperately begged for more, a part of him wanted to shove further, bury his hands into these scattered locks and kiss stronger, wilder until these hot, pale lips under his would be bruised and swollen. But it was the other part that won.

As Hyuuga slowly pulled away a barely audible sigh escaped his lips.

* * *

Ayanami was greeted by a strong, throbbing pain in the back of his head the second he awoke, forcing his heavy eyelids open and finding himself staring into an unfamiliar white ceiling. His whole body ached uncomfortably like someone would have beaten the hell out of him and it was still hard to keep his feverish, heavy-from-sleep eyes open, but at least they weren't stinging anymore. He tried to blink away the thick blanket of sleepiness, which was covering him, and the bits of confusion and slowly his view became somewhat less blurred though the edges of his visual range were still indistinct. Moving was hard but he shifted his weight anyway, instinctively pressing his teeth together at the pain this caused him, and turned enough to get a better view on the room he was in.

It was Hyuuga's place, so much he knew. A small, simply furnished bedroom with white walls, a large bed and a wardrobe. Through the opened door he could catch a glimpse of the living room. The broken cup on the floor between the doors didn't escape his searching gaze either but his eyes shifted to the still-lit nightlight and finally landed on a mess of dark brown hair beside him. Slowly his gaze followed the trail of strands to the point where they reached a masculine but slender neck, hidden under the collar of a military uniform. Hyuuga was close, really close, only a foot away, sleeping in a half-lying, half-sitting position.

Seeing his subordinate made Ayanami reminisce everything from the last night and that meant everything, from his first sneeze to his fainting to Hyuuga's kiss, the latter more a strange feeling than a clear memory, for he had been just about to drift in the land of dreams again but hadn't been completely there yet. And his nightmare too, something Ayanami was willing to fight hard to forget, something he didn't want to remember but despite all of his resistance and denial wavering images filled his mind and the nauseating feeling rose within his chest again. Was his illness the cause – he didn't know. The only clear thing to him was the indisputable fact that all of this was too much for one single night, even for him, although he felt deeply ashamed because of his reaction.

Hyuuga wouldn't tell anyone, Ayanami was sure about that just as much as he was certain the Lieutenant Commander would also never forget this.

He slightly shifted his weight once more. How could he act like this, let his always-composed facade crack? How could he be so weak in front of somebody? He, the oh-so-feared Chief of Staff, the commander of the infamous warsfeil group – the Black hawks?

Automatically he made sure his face returned back to his normal, steady, unreadable mask while he continued to stare at the crown of Hyuuga's head. An image from his dream unintentionally flickered in front of his eyes. Once again he saw that very dark hair soaked with thick, crimson blood, those always-smiling, sparkling, midnight blue eyes empty and dead, those lips abnormally pale, never forming that cocky, arrogant, never-fading smile again.

With great effort Ayanami chased the starling image away - it really was startling although he would never admit it - still the thought remained. But there was another thought too, a blurred memory of the burning sensation that the touch of Hyuuga's lips sent through his sick, weakened body, the jolt of bliss and the wave of pleasure the kiss caused him, and then the horribly unpleasant, almost painful feeling of something missing when the light pressure of Hyuuga's lips left his own and the desperate longing for the touch to return.

Maybe... Maybe he should... Just maybe...


	3. Chapter 3

**Once again - I don't own 07 ghost.**

Even in sleep Hyuuga could feel a movement. His senses were trained for it, his killer-instincts always on guard. To tell what it was – that was still impossible, but he could feel there was something, and somehow knowing this something was out of place, his body immediately reacted. He sat uprights at the same moment his deep blue eyes jerked open. It didn't matter where he was, all it mattered was a possibly imminent danger, either one lurking in distant shadows or one waiting just behind him to get him in its grip if he would allow himself just one wrong movement or a moment of hesitation. But there was no danger. It was just his bedroom, nothing special. Except wrinkled sheets and a blanket pushed away. And the fact Hyuuga hadn't actually been _in_ the bed. And neither was _he_.

With a movement as fast as if his life would depend on it Hyuuga turned around just in time to see Ayanami, who was supporting himself against the wall with one hand, slowly bend down to reach for his military coat, which was lying in the floor where Hyuuga had dropped it.

"Aya-tan," the Lieutenant Commander grumbled with clear disappointment aimed at his behaviour and reached for his glasses to put them back on. "Get back to bed, you need to rest."

"I don't." The answer was short as always, his voice once again not betraying anything. "I'm fine. Besides I need to get to work." He straightened back up, still supporting himself, but then let the hand fall to his side like he remembered Hyuuga could see it.

"Why are you lying?" Hyuuga sighed. "I can understand if you want to lie to me, it's something I can live with if I have to, but why do you constantly keep lying to yourself? You're living a lie, Aya-tan, only hurting yourself by doing so, and a liar always gets caught in the end. Stop pretending! You think I can't see it but I do! They way your shoulders are sagged, how your rigid back is just slightly bent, how your face is paler and your eyes suddenly aren't so frozen and piercing anymore. The way you stand, struggling to keep balance, the way you're letting your head fall. I can see it in your every single movement, I can see that you're ill, that you're in pain, that your body is weakened and you're in desperate need of rest. I don't need to hear it from you to tell that, I already know it."

"You know nothing," Ayanami replied tersely. "I'm perfectly capable of doing my work," he continued and threw his coat around his shoulders with one swift movement, "and you're in no position to talk to me in such a manner. Now, that old fools are waiting for some papers, I'll..."

Hyuuga's guard rose the second Ayanami's voice faded and his eyelids flattered in confusion. For a moment bewilderment was written all over his pale face. The next moment Hyuuga jumped forward, just in time to catch the Chief of Staff as his lags gave way, preventing him from collapsing onto the floor. Without thinking he swept Ayanami's legs from under him with ease and picked him up bridal-style like he had done a night before. To his great surprise the silver-haired man didn't struggle or try to resist or protest in any way. He even leaned his head against Hyuuga's chest and let the latter gently lay him down on the bed.

"Aya-tan," Hyuuga shortly shook his head, sounding slightly desperate and much more disapproving. "Do you really have to keep doing this?"

"Somebody has to get the work done," came the retort, causing the sapphire blue eyes to roll behind the darkened lenses of the sunglasses.

"You know what I meant," Hyuuga replied, suddenly really annoyed and feeling a strong urge to slap him. "But you know what, just forget it. You're way too stubborn for your own good and, as you would call it, proud, but I think you're just too damn stupid!"

Hyuuga's eyes flashed and he turned around to leave. "You can as well kill yourself with overworking, go ahead, I don't care," he threw across his shoulder, the finishing words of his outburst. It was no wonder the words had just slipped out of his mouth – they had started to form in the back of his mind a long time ago. He really, truly liked Ayanami, no, he loved him, cared for him deeply, even more than for himself, but despite all the love and dedication there were moments when he could hardly restrain himself from exploding and yelling everything he had on his mind out loud. This time he couldn't. He had to say it. At least some of it. It would be no problem for Hyuuga to think of many more things to throw at his boss, he had already came up with them ages ago, but he didn't add anything.

Making Ayanami angry was risky, mostly even dangerous, for he could be horribly intolerant, not to talk about ruthless. Although Hyuuga cared for his own health and wanted all parts of his body to remain in their right places, that wasn't the only reason. He simply _didn't want_ Ayanami to be angry. Seeing his beloved weighted down, troubled, anxious, worried or anyhow unhappy made him feel blue too. Despite the difficulty and unreasonableness of the task, the brown-haired Major was strongly determined to at least try his hardest to make Ayanami happy. Or at least somewhat less unhappy.

"Wait."

Ayanami's voice stopped him just as he hastily reached for the door handle. It was anything but the typical Ayanami's I-am-an-absolute-authority-so-back-off-if-I-tell-you-so voice. It didn't sound like an order. No even harsh. Or rude. Or indignant or cold or unkind in any way. Hyuuga couldn't tell what kind of tone it was but just the voice itself made him turn around immediately, without even the slightest hint of hesitation, it caused a more intense reaction than the word itself.

"Somebody has to get the work done," Ayanami repeated, paused for a second as if he were considering whether to proceed or rather keep his somewhat scattered thoughts for himself, then added quickly before he could change his mind:

"Would you do it for me?"

For the second time in the last twelve hours Hyuuga's jaw dropped to the floor. At first he seriously wanted to ask the silver-haired man what the hell has gotten into him and simply force the answer out, but decided against it and satisfied himself with questioning slowly as if he didn't understand:

"_You_... want _me_...to do _your_ work?"

With a quizzical, daring shine in his sapphire orbs Hyuuga approached the bed, where his superior was still lying the same way he had laid him down, with purposely hesitant steps.

"It has to be done by noon." Ayanami stared holes into the ceiling.

"Hmmm... Ok, I'll do it, I'll do your work," Hyuuga said while he pretended to think very hard. There really was something on his mind but of course he didn't have to think about it, he already knew what to say. "Under one condition. You admit you're ill, even if only to yourself, and rest until you're healthy enough again," (asking him to rest till he was completely healthy would be pretty much the same as asking a wall to move), "and you don't try to sneak away."

"And if I don't accept?"

"Why not? Come now, Aya-tan, please don't be so damn obstinate. What do you want – really kill yourself?"

"What do _you_ want?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Why did you kiss me?"

Hyuuga froze like struck by lightning. Just when he needed it the most his mind turned blank, when he desperately had to respond he just couldn't find a way. There was no cocky retort for it, no polite excuse, no objective reason, no proper answer. And nor was there a way out. Something he hadn't felt for a long, long time swept over him, rushed through his veins, numbing his body – panic. Ayanami knew he had kissed him, he knew, but how? Was he awake? Hell, it didn't matter, now he will surely get whipped to dead. Wait – how come he wasn't dead yet? How come Ayanami hasn't done anything yet? How come...?

"Smile, Hyuuga."

The said-man twitched violently at the sound of Ayanami's words and slowly focused his gaze on his superior's pale face, but he couldn't meet the amethyst eyes for they were still unchangeably turned towards the ceiling. Indecisively Hyuuga opened his mouth, desperately searching for the words he couldn't find.

"The look doesn't suit you," the Chief of Staff added, breaking the brief silence.

"What?" Hyuuga half blurted, half exhaled, finally able to make a sound again though his mind still wasn't able to apprehend things well enough to put together a proper response.

"I don't want to see that never-fading smile of yours die. Ever."

Ayanami finally turned his head just the slightest, just enough for their eyes to meet, sapphire pools meeting melted purple ice, before he added almost inaudibly, barely moving his still pale lips:

"So smile, Hyuuga. Smile for me."

"Aya-tan..." Hyuuga exhaled. He would never expect something like this to happen. He should probably get used to surprises in the last twelve hours yet every new thing still astounded and bewildered him. But right now this wasn't important. Ayanami had never _ever_ shown him so much affection before. It was probably going to be the one and only opportunity for such a thing to happen. So maybe, just maybe, he shouldn't be thinking about it that much. Maybe he should just enjoy it. And, well, take care of Ayanami. After all he was still horribly ill, still burning with fever, still...hurt...

Hyuuga slowly sat down, unsure of how to respond or what do to, and gently placed his palm on Ayanami's burning forehead. Their eyes met again, caught in an endless moment, and Ayanami gently wrapped his fingers around Hyuuga's wrist.

Finally, Hyuuga decided to say those words, the words he wanted to say all along, to ask a question he knew will never be answered, yet the time seemed so right to say it out loud at last and it fit all-too-well.

"What happened, Aya-ta -"

He couldn't finish. Ayanami moved as fast as lightning, he pulled Hyuuga's hand away and jerked upwards as if his muscles didn't hurt worse than after any battle, as if there was no throbbing pain in his head, as if the world didn't spin around in front of his eyes when he moved, and his hot, dry lips came crushing against Hyuuga's.

The Lieutenant Commander's eyes widened in daze. He froze, unable to believe what just happened. This...This couldn't be real. No way would this occur. It was just too...

Ayanami fell back on the sheets, his grip on Hyuuga's wrist loosening, his eyelids almost closing, and stared up directly at Hyuuga, who blinked in confusion. The Major had absolutely no idea what that was supposed to mean. Ayanami kissed him. For real. Could it be it that Hyuuga wasn't the only one, who longed for the others touch? Or...Or was it just some kind of revenge for that kiss earlier? Just ... a lame joke, a punishment?

Suddenly he felt a hand grab his collar and the silver-haired man pulled him down with an amazing strength, considering how ill he was, but still gently. Their faces stopped inches away and as Hyuuga felt the other's hot breath wash over his face, his heartbeat sharply fastened. For a second he got lost in those endless violet orbs before their lips touched again. At first Hyuuga was still supporting himself with his arms but now he let his fingers dig into Ayanami's silver locks as they kept kissing, exploring each other's taste and getting lost in it. A fire awoke inside the brown-haired Major, rushed through his veins and filled him with a burning sensation, stronger than everything he had ever felt. He still couldn't believe it was all real, but there he was, kissing his stern, ice-cold superior, lying on top of him. Everything else disappeared, the world could crumble and he wouldn't care. Their kisses became deeper, wilder, for there was something more to get and he wanted that more almost desperately.

At some point Hyuuga felt Ayanami weakly push against his shoulder. It threw him out of his euphoria, back in reality though reality was better than a dream right now, and he remembered Ayanami was horribly ill and weak and apparently in desperate need of air. Unwillingly he broke the kiss, letting Ayanami breathe. He knew he had to get a hold on himself for Ayanami was in no condition for being wild. His pale lips were already bruised and the last thing Hyuuga wanted was to hurt the man he loved, that troublesome stubborn boss of his. He felt like pure happiness was running through his veins – a feeling of an absolute blissfulness.

Slowly he brushed his lips against Ayanami's once again, his fingers roaming down the said-man's neck. The kiss was gentle, feather-like, yet full of passion, full of emotions, which had been gathering for a long, long time, longer than any of them could remember. Ayanami's fingers found their way into Hyuuga's dark brown hair and the Major couldn't help but to let a quiet moan escape his lips. He was almost melting at the touch of Ayanami's hands, not talk about his lips. The man tasted intoxicating, better than anything he had tasted before.

The kiss was broken once again and their eyes met. In that moment Hyuuga could see everything he had ever been searching for in those glistering half-closed amethyst orbs and although he had already been living to protect Ayanami, he had just found a whole new reason for existence.

"I will," he exhaled. "Until the end. Until my heart stops beating."

The reply was weak, but a genuine smile danced upon the sliver-haired man's lips as he whispered: "No, Hyuuga. Until _our_ hearts stop beating."

Forever.

* * *

**Soooo, that's it. Thanks for reading XD **


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